by Dr Neals J Chitan
Despite the popular single hit “Bad Boys Bad Boys, what you gonna do when they come for you,” released by Inner Circle in 1982 and re-released in 1993, I have concluded that really, there are no bad boys!
Being an international Crime Reduction Consultant, I have had the opportunity of working with so-called “bad boys” in Canada, Africa, Europe, USA and now across the Caribbean with current engagement in St Lucia. As I engage homes, schools, communities and prisons across the nation and do my assessments and evaluations of these boys that are suspended, criminally charged, in jail or boys who seemingly display a propensity to crime and evil, I am convinced that they are not “bad” boys but:
- Misguided boys
- Hurt boys
- Traumatised boys
- Grief-stricken boys
- Disappointed boys
- Negatively labelled boys
- Rejected boys
- Low self-esteem/self-perception boys
- Depressed boys
- Fatherless boys
- Bullied boys
- Sexually abused boys
- Unwanted and unloved boys
By the way, these are only some of the identifiable issues boys deal with, and the list goes on and on.
Recently, I watched an episode of the TV show “Killer Kids”, which featured Ted Bundy, one of the most notorious 20th-century killers, who confessed before his execution in 1989 to the gruesome killing of 30 individuals between 1974 and 1978 in seven American states.
Despite the sadistic, psychopathic and sociopathic behaviour of this character, I was glued to the screen as Ted’s childhood story unfolded. I listened intensely, hoping to put a finger on the negative influences that contributed to this handsome boy becoming the 20th century’s worst criminal, and they were so many that I needed all 10 fingers and 10 toes to pin down his dysfunctional childhood experiences.
And so, the question that has to be considered is: “What product do we expect to raise, when like Ted Bundy, our boys are facing so many of the issues listed above, with no one to help them decipher them?”
Imagine being born to an unwed mother who had to hide you away to cover the family shame of those times. Then you are brought back in the family as the son of your grandparents with your mom as your sister, amidst strong allegations that the same grandpa, the father of your mother, who is a wife beater, tyrannical bully, animal hater/killer and bigot may be your biological father. What a perfect environment for the moulding of a sociopath and criminal, and “what do you know?” It did!
As I watched and listened to the avalanche of terror rained down on America by this young man — the product of his environment — my mind went back to the hundreds of boys with whom I have spoken with in jails, who are paying the terrible price, a price that parents, guardians and teachers who should be held responsible for their neglect, abuse and vindictiveness, should pay.
And so, currently working with 100 inmates at Bordelais Correctional Facility in St Lucia as a crime reduction specialist, I have the opportunity to listen to their stories and watch the impact of our “Project STOP ’n’ THINK” social skill rehabilitative programme on them, further convincing me that truly, there are no bad boys.
During school, community and prison sessions, I hear stories of drug trafficking for survival, of fatherless boys, of gang involvement looking for acceptance and belonging, of hurt boys who did not know how to handle it and of unmanageable anger caused by psychological damage.
I vividly remember engaging in these powerful rehabilitative sessions at Her Majesty Prisons in St Kitts, after which the inmates offloaded their deep emotional hurt. I noticed that they continuously referred to me as their “new dad” or father who had taken the time to help them untangle the web of social dysfunctions that shackled their minds. Then it dawned on me that what was missing in each story was the lack of parental affirmation and leadership in the lives of these young men to guide them into productive manhood.
Despite their heinous crimes that have resulted in many of them doing life sentences, I saw the glow of emotional and mental freedom on the faces of these men, and I said to myself, “Indeed, there are no bad boys,” only boys who need to be decoded and set on the path to fulfilment and success.
I have therefore committed the rest of my life to helping “bad boys” find at least one good trait in themselves, which we can use to build their wings for soaring.
Dr Neals Chitan is an International Social Skill Consultant and Crime Reduction Specialist who holds a PhD in Social and Behavioural Sciences and currently works in Grenada. He is the President/Founder of Motiv-8 For Change International a Toronto-based Social Skill Agency, and can be reached from North America at 647-692-6330 or locally 473-416-8377 or at [email protected]
Facts beautifully elaborated in reality. Love the HOPE that is possible in every “Bad Boy”
Thanks Doc
Ever heard of a fellow called Trump? A bad boy grown into a bad man?
Thanks for your response, but you certainly put a smile on my face!
So who is really to blame? Could it be the reckless fathers of which there are many thousands who take no blame or responsibility for the offspring they produce? There should be programme to bring them to book and enforce them to do what is right
Excellent answer. All children need a two parent household. A single mother rarely has the financial means to afford childcare, so either relatives are tasked with it or the child is left to fend for themselves. A worse alternative is the mother relies on the generosity of the public coffers. If the father is not identified at birth, a DNA test should be performed on the child and the father, when identified held financially accountable for the child’s welfare.
My friend, I feel your passion for justice and these children do deserve it, but these irresponsible fathers are also in the vicious cycle and victims of that which they perpetrate. The roots are deep, but with tolerance, love and care we can make a dent.
I give full support to this gentle man in his quest to rehabilitate those young persons who have have been misunderstood because of the household environment they found themselves through no fault of their own. I was labeled a bad boy also, simple because I was born twin and my partner died at birth, I lost my father at the age of 1year and 9 months, I lost my mother at the age of 2years and 11months. I grew up in the care of my grand mother and boy didn’t she care for me (licks for so) She died when I was 19years old and I have been on my own for the next 70yrs. My accomplishments in life is more that I can desire or, may I say “it’s not what was expected of this bad boy. Please don’t give up on those “bad” boys!!!!..
I fully endorse this article and concur with the views so expressed on the caption. Everything in this life stems from foundation – whether good or bad.
Very interesting editorial above.